Don't start with me. I know it's been approximately 4 years since my last post. I know my one and only faithful follower (McDowellbabe) accounts for 786 of my 788 page views since June 2011. The other two views are from me trying to figure out how to log back into my account. I realize due to my last post being about dog s&*t, a pile of feces has been my main page post for about 1,400 days (not ashamed).
I have a lot I could talk about, but I must start with this...
The other night we purchased a plecostomus. We have a small deck pond...it gets algae-ish....drives Mr. Robusto crazy... Anyway, I walk up to the tanks to see which one might speak to me (I don't want to pick the wrong one, after all). I was looking for optimal sucking power with a hint of whimsy. Turns out they all look the same and they all just sit there sucking. I decided to just let the fish department girl pick one out. She had a name tag so it was all very legit. As she is bagging him up, I start reading all about plecostomus on the information tag. Record scratches...THEY CAN GET UP TO 24" LONG! WTF?!? I'm not exactly sure why, but this freaked me the fuzz out. I just picture him sucking his was to our back window and taunting poor Monde boy while we are away at work. I decided to work through this fear the way I work through all my fears....I named him. Now I am able to picture him as a retired telephone man from Maiden, NC. He loves his grandchildren, his wife Carolyn, bass fishing on the weekends and volunteering with his local hometown fire department. Good ole' Doug Melody. All better.
Now before I move to the next topic, you should know it all started so innocently. While browsing YouTube one day, Mr. Robusto and I made what I consider the normal YouTube progression. Beginning
with the safe crowd-pleaser “Frosty the Snow Goat” to a more focused topic
“Twerking in Walmart” and somehow through the magic of YouTube
suggestions, stumbled upon something different. Full disclosure: It may or may not have been suggested after someone may or may not have searched for “bug removal from ear.”
Anyway, that search result enables me to conclude with this nugget of wisdom:
Watching YouTube videos of a BotFly making a cozy home in a person’s head right before bed is probably not the best idea if:
A – You’d like to sleep without having some very NSFW dreams of being impregnated by larva.
B – You don’t have 45 minutes to spend the next morning inspecting every pore you can see for “bot-ish” traits.
B – You don’t have 45 minutes to spend the next morning inspecting every pore you can see for “bot-ish” traits.
C – You don’t want the continuous sensation of your scalp tingling and sprouting mysterious wiggling bumps.
I don't fancy myself a sheltered girl, but this? This s*&t is crazy! It’s hard enough for me to wrap my head around a fish that can swim up a pecker. And please don't even get me started on Triatominea...
I don't fancy myself a sheltered girl, but this? This s*&t is crazy! It’s hard enough for me to wrap my head around a fish that can swim up a pecker. And please don't even get me started on Triatominea...
Let's face it...there's not a name under the sun that makes ANY of this last "wisdom nugget" more acceptable.
Well, at least I got the dog shit off my main page.
Well done Mrs. Robusto! You have brought the pain back to this blog! Excellent return!
ReplyDeleteThis is the 5th time I'm trying to comment. 3 times on work computer and 2 time on my phone.......work keeps logging me out. ......I can never be as clever and witty as the previous 4 times.....here goes. WOOOOOOHOOOOOOO! Thank you Mrs. Robusto. I happened along here ......again.......as I do....periodically. ....and today my fait fulness has been rewarded! I feel like I'm shopping amazon with no limit, like a kid eating cotton candy at the fair, like a plecostomus in a pond full of algae! Don't know if it was worth the severe year wait, but glad you're back!
ReplyDeleteWOW! Sister of Robusto that comment is like honey and vinegar - it cuts like a double edge sword! I believe this was a heroic comeback post Mrs. Robusto! Don't worry about the haters, you let your rainbow shine straight through the poo! I would wait longer for one of your posts than for the sequel of To Kill a Mockingbird!
DeleteAnd I see my delightful auto correct has struck again. Of course you must know I meant faithfulness. ...I have just typed it so many times you see.
ReplyDeleteah yes, I see sever instead of several...how fabulous
ReplyDeleteOh dear. A little bird told me you may have gotten the wrong impression from my comments. I can only claim that after 5 tries,my eloquence deserted me. I in no way meant to imply your blog was not worth waiting for.....I only meant that I was not thrilled to wait 4 yrs for its return. It is so awesome and your writing is so fun and witty it leaves me in stitches...as your very faithful follower, I will admit to feeling abandoned....I had hope you would one day return and am very excited. One other thing I forgot to mention was about disgustingly gross stuff to loom up. I have a fascination with worms. Worms on dogs and people. From maggots to round worms. They are irresistible to look at.
ReplyDeleteHelloooooo.....are you there......
ReplyDeleteDang, looks like I completely missed the annual April comment deadline. I miss you....come back..
ReplyDeleteHola! This weekend is our fondue adventure! After last year, I think we need to make it an annual tradition. So looking forward to cheese and dessert fondue! All that melty deliciousness! We are 15 lbs lighter than we were a few months ago. WOOOHOOO!!!! AND....the Southern Christmas Show is next Friday!!!! Love you! Miss you! Come back...
ReplyDeleteIt's been a long year. We have not spent as much time together. The forces of nature are working to keep up apart. I still miss you.....come back...
ReplyDeleteBeach Trip 2019 coming soon! Yall are coming over tonight for games and a New Years Eve Extravaganza!
ReplyDeletehmmmm, I posted here last week, then texted you as domo arigato robustos. hoping to prompt you to blog....but I don't see it here
ReplyDeleteHAPPY NEW YEAR! I hope our year is filled with fun and games and good food and lots of time together! I love you dearly ,little sister!!
ReplyDeleteMy annual check in. Been a crazy couple of years for sure....covid times. We had a great time at the SCS, it was cancelled last year. Hope to have lots of fun times this coming year. Going to mom and dads in 2 days for Thanksgiving. Shunc is hosting since they are living there at the moment.
ReplyDelete2 days from today is the Spring Sister's Day!!! I'm so looking forward to it, even if we do nothing but sit together and be. Love you most, Sister!
ReplyDeleteHola! It's almost your birthday. It's gonna be a fantastic one! Last year...not so much. I know you'll make up for it this year. It will be wonderful and joyful and fabulous and fun! Much love to you Little Sister!!!
ReplyDeleteI second that motion! All in Favor? The AYES have it! Motion passed.
ReplyDeleteSister! It's a New Year! 2025! Holy Moly! Thank you for your awesome and fantastic support! You are one in a trillion, billion,zillion. Love you!!!
ReplyDelete